Aloha

Aloha

What it is: Bradley Cooper attempts to undo all that ill will he garnered from American Sniper by starring in a film identical to Silver Linings Playbook, except it takes place in Hawaii, so it’s more lighthearted.

Pros: +Alec Baldwin’s first line.

+Movie has a star studded cast…….

Cons: -….And makes use of about half of them.

-Has Bradley Cooper just given up on being relatable to  the common man? He’s an air force pilot who was married to Rachel McAdam and now has a shot with Emma Stone. Honestly, the most I’ve ever related to Cooper on screen was The Hangover. 

Overall score: 1/5 stars (I will not go see this movie)

This movie is filmed with the sentimental dribble I’ve grown sick to death of over the years. Besides, I watched Birdman last night, so I’ve had my fill of dramatic emotional movies. Think of me what you will.

Hot Pursuit

Hot Pursuit

What it is: The latest attempt to hop on the female buddy cop bandwagon. I’d bet my left foot that we’ll eventually get a lady version of Rush Hour.

Pros: +Lots of good gags.

+Avoids the buddy cop cliche of them initally hating each other, or at least doesn’t overwork it.

Cons: -They had to make a period joke. And this trailer was doing so much for gender equality.

-The director of The Proposal?

Overall Score: 5/5 stars (I will probably go see this movie.)

This trailer is a fine example of the whole, “give me the same thing, only different” rule that Hollywood has. By putting a new spin on the classic road trip film, and letting both leading ladies shine, this trailer is my favorite to win the At the Trailers awards for best comedy, or at least best Actress. Yes, I have awards on this blog too. Hopefully I don’t get accused of as much racism and sexism as they do.

Hitman: Agent 47

Hitman: Agent 47

What it is: Hitman returns in this poorly subtitled sequel.

Pros: +Cabling a car? That’s something you don’t see every day.

Cons: -Overuse of slow motion cameras.

-“Agents are stronger, faster, smarter than average humans.” So is every other action movie character!

-Okay, if it wasn’t dumb enough bring a sniper rifle into the interogation room and pointing it at the guy, why did you bother loading it! Assuming he didn’t grab the rifle and hit you in the face with it, or escape in the extravagant manner that he did, if you did end up shooting him, you just killed a suspect! That’s shitty police work any way you splice it!

Overall score 2/5 stars (I probably won’t see this movie.)

This trailer has two fatal flaws in it. One, it’s a sequel, which means there’s going to be a lot of people who feel like their missing something. Two, it looks like an overuse of stunts and special effects. I realize this is why most people go to see action movies (myself included) but we should still care a little about the protagonists. Overall, if I see only one action movie this year, it’s not going to be this one.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E

What it is: Remake of a television series you’re probably too young to remember.

Pros: +Neat cinematography.

+Trailer is edited in a disorienting way so it looks like crazy fun.

Cons: -I guess no one besides me is getting sick of remakes of old spy tv shows? Anyone? No?

Overall score: 4/5 stars: (I might go see this movie) 

Despite my above complaint, this movie seems to offer high octane action, and an interesting setting. Also, I think we can all agree that Henry Carvill would’ve made a great James Bond. This trailer has done a splendid job at not messing itself up completely in my opinion.

Trainwreck

Trainwreck

What it is: Judd Apatow does what everyone expected him to do and makes another touchy slice of life comedy.

Pros: +Trailer makes great use of Amy Schumer’s stand-up persona.

+Schumer and Hader are a great couple….. at least for a comedy movie.

+Best acting by Lebron James I have ever seen.

Cons: -Title of the movie is a little off putting, and possibly a little judgmental.

Overall score: 3/5 stars (I might go see this movie.)

I’ll be the first to admit it, this trailer should have scored higher. I’m not the best judge of this trailer, since I’m not the biggest Judd Apatow fan. I don’t think I’ve seen any of his work. That in mind, this trailer looked interesting enough, but felt like it didn’t fully realize it’s comedy potential. I’m going to take a chance here and assume this movie wasn’t targeted at me.

Family Day notice

Dear Readers.

This Monday is Family Day, a holiday the Canadian government made up because they hate working on Monday as much as the rest of us. As such, there will be no trailer reviews this week. I’ll be back the following Monday.

I thank you for your continued support and will see you all next week.

Family Day notice

Dear Readers.

This Monday is Family Day, a holiday the Canadian government made up because they hate working on Monday as much as the rest of us. As such, there will be no trailer reviews this week. I’ll be back the following Monday.

I thank you for your continued support and will see you all next week.

Magic Mike: XXL

Magic Mike: XXL

What it is: Part of a government conspiracy to release this movie along with 50 Shades of Grey to increase the population.

Pros: +I am so glad that chick laughed at this twirl. Let’s be real, there is no one who didn’t think that looked stupid.

+Trailer doesn’t pretend that this movie has a plot.

+Thankfully, it’s not as graphic as the subtitle would suggest.

Cons: -Why do I get the feeling that the opening dance will turn a lot of teen boys off of shop class?

-Absolutely no one in this movie looks like a person I would want to know personally.

-Where’s Gabriel Iglesias? He said he was coming back for the sequel!

Overall score: 0/5 stars (I won’t go see this movie.)

Well, I feel it’s a little generous to call this a movie trailer. For me, Magic Mike isn’t a movie, so much as it is an excuse for women to see Channing Tatum’s abs. And I’m pretty sure they can find a jpeg. of that on Google images. As it were, this is a film trailer review blog, not an ab review blog. Let’s not pretend that doesn’t exist somewhere.

Home Sweet Hell

Home Sweet Hell

What it is: Just when you hoped she was gone for good, here comes Katherine Heigl with another romantic(?) comedy(?).

Pros: +Jim Belushi……

Cons: -…..being a sexist pervert.

-I hope Quentin Tarantino sues someone over that Kill Bill nod.

-Not a likable character to be found.

-I actually wanted to this movie to be a horror movie, and I take comedy over horror any day. Look at the title, for God’s sake! Doesn’t it seem like a perfectly good title for a horror movie? I was worried something scary would happen this entire trailer!

Overall score: 0/5 stars (Do not go see this movie)

This trailer is a perfectly good example of how the days when you could tack a famous person’s name to a movie and expect it to do well are over. With an unlikable characters, a formulaic plotline, and easily worn out gags, this trailer is a three thumbs down for me. Geeze, did I wake up in a parallel universe? Because I’m digging the horror trailer I watched today, and hating on the comedy one. What is wrong with me?

Beyond the Reach

Beyond the Reach

What it is: The Edge in the desert. (I probably could’ve used a more apt or relevant film to compare it to here, but whatever.)

Pros: +Best acting by a Jeep I’ve ever seen.

+Cool sniping by Michael Douglas.

Cons: -Gives away almost the whole movie.

-A rich guy hunting human beings? That’s never been done before!

-Doesn’t it seem like the guy being hunted is going to win?

Overall score: 3/5 stars (I might go see this movie.)

This trailer does an excellent job building suspense and makes the conflict clear. However, it does seem to give too much a the plot away, and doesn’t really leave a strong impression on you. I think this movie might be interesting, but this trailer doesn’t set the bar high. Also, this movie is already out in the UK, so you can probably find a plot summary online already.