Laggies

Laggies

What it is: A movie with the funnest title you’ll never understand.

Pros: +Starts out strong at the beggining, with good jokes.

+Interesting premise.

+Excellent soundtrack. Really fits the mood.

+Gives a good idea of the storyline.

Cons: -Sort of repeats itself after a while.

-The whole man/child (or in this case, woman/child) thing is getting a little too overplayed for my liking.

-Father character is unrealistic. Your a single man, and your daughter brings home Kiera Knightley. You probably wouldn’t be that upset for long.

Overall Score: 2/5 stars (I probably won’t see this movie.)

Despite a star studded cast, this film appears to be trying to take an old episode of The King of Queens and turn it into a romcom. While the trailer does a good job not giving away the ending, it doesn’t really make me give a damn how it ends. All and all, despite it’s charm, this trailer has nothing that really grabs my attention for long.

The Interview

The Interview

What is is: A movie so controversal, it’s already banned in North Korea…..which actually isn’t saying much. They ban everything there. Needless to say, this blog is probably banned now too. Good thing I don’t have any readers in North Korea!

Pros: +Is Seth Rogan getting fat again? Because he’s so much funnier when he’s fat.

+Rogan sets up a very relatable character.

+Lizzy Caplan’s unnessecary cleavage….which is integral to the trailer I’m sure!

Cons: -James Franco got real annoying real fast. Although I suppose that’s the idea.

-You don’t think it will work, Lizzy Caplan? It was your idea in the first place!

Overall score: 4/5 Stars (I will probably go see this movie.)

If there’s one thing I’m not, it’s a Seth Rogan groupie. It takes more than a ginger afro to get me to see a movie, (Hence why I didn’t see Napolean Dynamite in theatres). Nethertheless, this movie has been on my radar for some time. It’s not every day one of the funniest guys in Hollywood pisses off a dictator. Plus, I’m sure one of my friends will drag me to see it whether I want to or not. That being said, this trailer is not without its faults. Could use more actual jokes and less of James Franco being a douche.

Stretch

Stretch

What it is: Hopefully, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels without all the confusing Cockney slang. Seriously, they actually had a glossary in the DVD special features.

Pros: +Charlie Sheen joke is solid! By which I mean joke about Charlie Sheen, not a joke that he made. Come to think of it, did he ever make jokes? Oh, I’m sorry to anyone who spent money on that tour of his. I hope I didn’t bring up any bad memories!

+Ed Helms with a moustache? Can you get any more mischievous?

+Great opening narration!

Cons: -Not that many! Or at least, nothing I could really make a joke about.

Overall score: 5/5 stars (I will definately go see this movie)

In a few minutes, the trailer for Stretch has fully sold me on the life of this chaufeur and his crazy adventures. With just the right balance of humour and action, Stretch looks like the perfect guys night out movie. Now all you need is guy friends who don’t have to go to work the next morning/have plans for the weekend!

Reach me

Reach Me

What it is: The farthest thing from what it should be.

Pros: +Cool gun handling.

+Terry Crews…….

Cons: -…….doing absolutely nothing.

-Why do you have Stallone wearing glasses? If your trying to pass him off as some kind of intellectual who uses his brain instead of his brawn, do yourself a favour and accept the Razzie already.

-Film stars Nelly, a known rapper. Rappers + Movie roles = box office calamity.

-Who’s supposed to be the protagonist in this trailer?

Overall Score: 1/5 stars (I won’t go see this movie)

This trailer is gifted with an extrodinary cast, and has no idea how to use it. It call’s itself a comedy drama, yet at no point did in watching it did I come close to hearing what I thought was a joke. The only reason this trailer gets a star is because I get the feeling there’s something I’m not getting from it. That being said, I can probably stand to not know what it is.

Blackhat

Blackhat

What is is: Thriller movie about cyberterrorism that someone was bound to make eventually. Or maybe they already did and this is just a ripoff. Probably both.

Pros: +Gunfire at the end really sells the suspense.

+Trailer is clear and easy to follow

Cons: -Could go deeper in the characters.

-Chris Hemsworth has offiically joined the “Coasting off the Marvel movie fame club”. I’m sorry, but just because your character went to prison, doesn’t mean you need muscles. Especially if your character went to prison for computer hacking.

-What is it with all these cover songs in trailers? First that (even more) depressing version of “Black Hole Sun” and now “Knocking on Heavens door”?

Overall score: 2/5 stars (I probably won’t go see this movie)

Blackhat’s trailer delivers a good idea of what audiences will be seeing in the film. Unfortunately, nothing in the trailer looks all that interesting. It has the feel of a very strange documentary. If you like brainy thrillers, however, I would definitely recommend you see this.

Big Eyes

Big Eyes

What it is: Biopic about an aspiring anime artist.

Pros: +Least creepy Tim Burton movie I’ve ever seen, despite giant eyed children and daydream scene.

+I didn’t know there was such a thing as “ladyart”! This trailer is educational!

+Trailer does a very good job portraying the drama of the film.

Cons: -Christine Ritter has to be the only person to star in Breaking Bad and still not come across as a credible actor.

-A Tim Burton movie about selling out your artistic integrity? Where’s Johnny Depp?

Overall score 4/5 stars (I might go see this movie.)

While I’m normally not a huge biopic guy, this movie looks educational and offers an interesting story about the struggles of being an artist. Probably doesn’t hurt to have a great actress like Amy Adams depict a real person we would never have cared about otherwise.

Playing it cool

Playing it cool

What it is: A romcom starring Captain America himself, Chris Evans. Also starring Anthony Mackie from Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Ioan Gruffudd from Fantastic Four, and Topher Grace from Spiderman 3. God, is there anyone who isn’t in a Marvel Comics movie these days? Even that last trailer I just reviewed had Mystique and Rocket Raccoon in it!

Pros: + Opening scene and lines are very ironic in ways I can’t quite figure out yet.

Cons: -Hey Chris Evans, remember when you tried to connvince us you were going to be a director?

-“Men and women can’t be friends.” The hallmark of an unoriginal RomCom.

-It’s the American Romcom Drinking Game! Everytime you see a handsome British man in an American Romcom, take a drink! (I would include British actresses, but that would make this game too lethal to play.)

Overall Score: 1/5 stars (I will not see this movie)

As a heterosexual male, I don’t watch a lot of rom coms. What I do watch alot of these days, are rom com trailers. I think I good rom com should focus more on the funny parts, because that’s where you can be original. The whole romantic storyline has kind of been done to death. That aside, despite a star-studded cast, this trailer is another lackluster and uninspired rom com ripoff. All the cliches are there, the guy who wants to date a girl who’s engaged, the snarky friends, the big showdown at the alter, and of course, the all-important sex scenes. Definately stay away from this one.

Serena

Serena

What it is: A Christmas film release for people who don’t have families/want to bore their kids to death.

Pros: +Trailer is definately not longer than it needs to be.

+I’ll admit. The whole murder thing caught me by surprise.

Cons: – I really think I would like this trailer better if I could tell what time period it was supposed to be in/if that time period was interesting in anyway.

-Aren’t we all sick of Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper yet? This trailer is clearly Oscar-baiting.

-Too much drama for too little footage. Maybe it would help if you showed someone getting hit or something.

Overall Score: 1/5 stars (I will not see this movie)

I have never watched a trailer so not targeted to me. Serana is really far from my type of movie. It looks like a big sloppy mess of emotions, and I have no idea what to make of it, or how to like the characters! I’ll guess I’ll just spend Christmas with my family this year.

Welcome to Yesterday

Welcome to Yesterday

What it is: Chronicle but with time travel.

Pros: +Some funny scenes

Cons: – “Some Mysteries must be solved?” Some caption writers must be fired!

-Did anyone seriously believe that this was going to be a feel good movie? It’s directed by Michael Bay, and is shot in the found footage style, for crying out loud!

-The kid who films everything for no reason is the one that ends up going over the edge? There’s a twist no one saw coming!

Overall score: 0/5 stars (DO NOT GO SEE THIS MOVIE)

In case I didn’t drive the point home, this movie is just trying to rip off Chronicle and frankly, what made Chronicle work is the surprisingly good acting of Dane DeHaan, who is not in this film. When a depressing kid like DeHaan turns evil, it makes for good drama. When happy-go-lucky kids like these start going crazy, it’s just sad. Michael Bay, are you even trying anymore?

Kingsman: The secret service

Kingsman: The Secret Service

What it is: The latest comic book to get the Hollywood treatment (by which I mean, adapted into film, then sealed in a vault in the ground once that film bombs.)

Pros: +Kid really looks like a dirtbag. Cudos to the casting director.

+Good special effects, and action shots!

+Almost feels like a homage to classic James Bond movies.

Cons: – I don’t know who Samuel L. Jacksons character is supposed to be, but I can tell he’s way too young to be played by Samuel L. Jackson.

-Michael Caine and Colin Firth? That’s almost a classy overload!

Overall score: 3/5 stars (I might go see this movie.)

Honestly, I think a good point of reference for this film is X-men: First Class. Both share a director (Mathew Vaugh) and pretty similar premises (Spy training, superhero training). Not to mention, I get the feeling there’ll be plenty of over the top action. So if you’re looking for a movie like X-men: First Class but a little more ground (and minus all the baggage that an X-men prequel movie carries,) then go see this movie. And then write a review of it, because God knows I don’t have the time.